Page 57 - Tracy Anderson Magazine - Fall 2021

FOR GE A

FRIENDSHIP

Because it’s never too late for a new BFF.

Friendship—the only relationship that we enter complete- you’re feeling like you’re yearning for more friends (and
ly voluntarily and with no strings attached and no formal after the COVID lockdowns, we don’t blame you!), here are
structure. We make new ones; we fall out of touch with some tips for finding, building, and maintaining fulfilling
old ones. Friendships can take so many forms and morph friendships in your adult life.
throughout the years. With all the other relationships in
our life that feel like they need pressing attention—our Assume people like you
romantic relationships, our parents, and our kids—how im- When we act as though we think others like us, we tend to
portant are our friendships, really? share more about ourselves and have a more positive atti-
tude, which leads people to like us more.
As it turns out, despite the fact that friendships might take
the biggest hit in our busy lives, scientists have found that “WHEN WE ACT AS
friendships play an important role and have an impact on THOUGH WE THINK
our lives. Friends color our lives with meaning, fulfillment,
and a sense of stability. Research shows that our degree of OTHERS LIKE US, WE TEND
social connectedness is one of the greatest indicators of TO SHARE MORE ABOUT
how happy or unhappy we are. The more friends you have OURSELVES AND HAVE A
has been linked to your overall health and how long you’re
likely to live. Letting friendships fall to the wayside can have MORE POSITIVE ATTITUDE,
a negative impact on your sleep, cognitive function, and WHICH LEADS PEOPLE
overall health. A long period of time without meaningful TO LIKE US MORE.”
friendships can lead to loneliness, which has been shown to
have the same degree of negative impact on your health as
smoking, obesity, drinking, and a lack of exercise. Take the first step
Friendship takes effort and doesn’t happen if you’re home
However, it’s natural for friendships to change over time, on your couch. Make an active effort to put yourself out
and it’s normal that as adults we might struggle to maintain there and in situations where it’s possible to meet others.
the plethora of friends we once had as young adults. When Try new things, join a gym or club, and be ready to accept
we’re young, our life centers around our friendships. These social invitations when they arise.
friends usually live nearby and have many shared reference
points and similar experiences to yours. This makes bond- Show up consistently
ing and staying connected easy. However, as life takes hold “Exposure effect” describes the phenomenon that we tend to
and we move to new neighborhoods for careers or roman- like things more when they seem more familiar. This applies
tic relationships, this makes it harder to maintain these to people, too. We like the people we see more, and we tend
relationships and there naturally starts to be less time for to like people more when we know we will see them again.
them. Sometimes, we lose touch with those friends who
defined and shaped our young adult years and create new Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
To form a real bond with someone requires you to open
friendships formed around work, kids, or our spouse. In-
Sam Manns, Unsplash terestingly, studies show that once we retire, prioritization up about yourself and to let others share about themselves
equally. Ask questions and listen, then don’t be afraid to
for our friends starts to increase once more.
share in turn. Science has shown that the more you share
about yourself and the more you show someone you value
If you feel fulfilled by your degree of social stimulation
and the friendships you currently have, great! However, if
them, the more you both will like each other. ■

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