Page 71 - TA Magazine Winter 2022

EMO TIONS AND NONSENSE

You are the Founder and Director of the Yale Center for Emo- pared to non-RULER classrooms) have higher grades and are modern American workplace that keep us from developing our yet utterly defies logic. Do you consider emotion and reason as
tional Intelligence. What sparked the inception of this center? rated by their teachers as having better conduct and work hab- emotional intelligence? two opposing forces? Can we submit to our most nonsensical
its. Research has also shown that RULER schools foster a more feelings, and should we?
MB: I was an unhappy child. I was the victim of sexual abuse positive learning environment, which has less bullying. MB: The main obstacle is people in charge who think that they
and was bullied pretty horrifically in school. I knew I was don’t need this work because they are “leaders.” We conducted MB: Our lives are saturated with emotions—sadness, disap-
smart, but I just couldn’t perform well academically. When I On the teaching side, RULER-trained teachers have higher a national study in our center with 15,000 people across the pointment, anxiety, irritation, enthusiasm, and even tranquility.
was about 12 years old, my Uncle Marvin, an educator in New levels of connectedness with their students than non-RUL- workforce—anywhere from people who work in farming to Sometimes—often—those feelings are inconvenient. They get in
York State, asked me a simple yet profound question, “how ER- trained teachers. They have more training in effective people who work in finance. What we found was that people the way of our busy lives, or at least that’s what we tell our-
are you feeling?” Everything about his facial expression and coping strategies to manage their own emotions, as well as who work for an emotionally intelligent supervisor have differ- selves. So we do our best to ignore them. We all believe that our
body language were so open. I knew it was the right time to strategies to help students manage their emotions. The past ent experiences at work. When there is an emotionally intelli- feelings are important and deserve to be addressed. The irony,
share how I had been feeling. Angry. Scared. Disgusted, in ad- two years of the pandemic have really put that to the test. gent supervisor, employees feel free to be more creative, experi- though, is that when we ignore our feelings, or suppress them,
dition to many other unpleasant feelings. He didn’t respond It’s hard for teachers to walk around with a smile on their ence greater inspiration, and have less burnout and stress. They they only become stronger. The really powerful emotions build
by saying things like, “toughen up” or “get over it.” Instead, face all day when they’re feeling frustrated or stressed on are also likely to want to leave their organization. up inside us, like a dark force that inevitably poisons everything
he listened and said,“we’ll get through this together.” Uncle the inside. They’re frequently engaged in what’s called “emo- we do, whether we like it or not. Hurt feelings don’t vanish on
Marvin was the first adult who heard me and listened to me. tional labor.” Often, they make themselves appear to be in Your book, Permission to Feel, came out in 2019. The book deep their own. They don’t heal themselves. If we don’t express our
My Uncle Marvin taught sixth grade social studies in the ‘60s a pleasant place in order to be the role models they think dives into the field of emotional intelligence, tapping into the emotions, they pile up like a debt that will eventually come due.
and developed a “feeling words curriculum,” which allowed they should be. Emotional labor can take a toll on educators’ reasons behind the surge of mental health problems in our so-
students to connect to characters throughout history on a per- health and well-being. This is where RULER training helps. ciety. After experiencing a global pandemic that has caused a Science has shown why emotional intelligence is the missing
sonal level. That curriculum and my graduate work inspired a RULER-trained educators find ways to be more authentic crisis in mental health, do you see this book differently? Have link in well-being and success. We need to launch an emotion
partnership between my uncle and me to develop the first itera- with their students and apply evidence-based strategies to readers responded in new ways to your work? revolution in which the permission to feel moves us in ways we
tion of RULER, our Center’s approach to building emotionally manage their emotions effectively. have yet to imagine. When the friendship between passion and
22 intelligent school communities. For the last 18 years, I’ve had At what age do you think education around emotional intelli- MB: I didn’t write my book thinking there would be a pandemic reason can freely exist, it means greater equity. Emotion skills 22
Y ANDERSON WINTER 20 classroom that uses RULER? What distinguishes RULER-trained create a healthier and more equitable, compassionate, and in- they can be compassionate explorers of their emotions and the toxic masculinity, feminine objectification, and prejudice of Y ANDERSON WINTER 20
level the playing field for all children, regardless of race, class,
and the mental health of our world would deteriorate. Neverthe-
the opportunity to refine these concepts with an amazing team
less, I am deeply gratified that it has helped people around the
or gender. A commitment to developing emotion skills means
of scientists and practitioners.
gence should begin, and why?
said how my book supported them throughout the pandemic.
in need and reducing wide swaths of harm. Communicating
People are grateful for the concept of “permission to feel”—that
through the lens of emotion skills no longer leaves room for
66 RULER is an evidence-based approach to social and emotional MB: You are never too young or old to learn emotional intelli- globe. I have received thousands of emails from people who have providing extra resources to neighborhoods and communities 67
learning you spent years developing. What is different about a
gence. Our goal is to use the power of emotional intelligence to
emotions of others as opposed to critically judging them. My
all sorts. It means rolling back policies that create widespread
novative society. We study the development, measurement and
teachers?
inequality, rethinking violence-saturated media, and revising
book gives people hope and concrete tools that help them to con-
real-world significance of emotional intelligence. We also do a
their well-being, decisions, performance, and relationships.
world (from New York to California to Italy to Spain to Mex-
emotional intelligence and making it accessible to everybody
Emotion skills are the key to unlocking the potential inside
ico) that have implemented RULER. Schools that have adopt-
from pre-schoolers to educators to CEOs.
C MB: I have had the pleasure to visit schools from all over the lot of training and program development, taking the science of tinuously develop the skills of emotional intelligence to enhance harmful approaches to discipline, punishment, and bullying. C
TRA ed RULER have reported positive changes. There are stronger This issue is inspired by Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in each one of us. And in the process of developing these skills, TRA
bonds between all stakeholders—educators are more engaged You regularly consult big companies on best practices to inte- Wonderland, a book in which nonsense is a recurring theme. we each, heart by heart, mind by mind, create a culture and
in teaching and less burnt out, and students perform better ac- grate emotional intelligence into training, workplace culture, Meaningless language and illogical happenings transport us to society unlike anything we’ve experienced thus far—very much
ademically. Specifically, students in RULER classrooms (com- and product design. What are the main obstacles you see in the a technicolor underworld that is deeply emotionally engaging, like the one we might dare to imagine. TA
IF WE CAN BE PRESENT AND DO WHAT WE ARE DOING,
OR AGE QUOD AGIS, AS IT’S SAID IN LATIN,

EACH MOMENT IS A GIFT.