Page 26 - TA Magazine Winter 2022

A MOMENT OF ZEN

there was no difference in intelligence between the rats, the
ones the students perceived as smarter and expected to navi- INTENTIONS
gate the maze easily were twice as fast as the rats they thought
of as dumb and expected to fail. Further studies have shown & AGE
that a teacher’s expectation affects how students perform on
tests, and the expectations military trainers hold about their
soldiers can actually make them run faster. CAN WE DREAM NEW DREAMS
AFTER 50?
While others’ expectations can certainly influence our experi-
ences, nothing influences our experiences more than our own
expectations. How many times have we heard stories about Setting new intentions for your life in your 20s or 30s
someone who no one believed in and had the odds stacked
against him only to go on and become a huge success? To have seems as attainable as your energy to achieve them.
no or negative expectations for yourself is to fail before you
even begin. Shakespeare said in Hamlet, “For ‘tis the sport to But, what if you’re 53?
have the engineer hoist with his own petard.” In the 16th Cen-
tury, a machine of war was referred to as an engine. To “hoist At a certain age it becomes harder to dream new dreams, not
with his own petard” refers to someone being blown up by because they aren’t possible but because we become set in our
their own bomb. That is the power of your expectations. They ways. We can become bogged down with the monotony of life
can be the defining factor between success and failure. or we may look back at the past with regret instead of towards
the future with excitement. We tell ourselves it’s too late to do
22 So set your intention and expect only the best outcome. Try to what we really want and that the way things are is the way
Y ANDERSON WINTER 20 When setting a new intention for your life the outcome needs come with the classic midlife crisis they don’t know they’re
they’ll always be.
surround yourself with people who love you enough to do the
same on your behalf. Knowing exactly what that outcome looks
awareness, not age. What’s holding many middle-aged people
An Ideal Scene
back are the feelings of malaise, regret, and resignation that
24 like for you is the final ingredient in the formula for a new life. Fortunately, setting new intentions for our lives is a matter of
having because it looks nothing like the cliché we see on TV.
to be clear. What does achieving your goal look like? Don’t
worry about not knowing how the small details will come to
When we understand that a midlife crisis isn’t a crisis at all but
much detail as possible. I tell my patients, “Don’t simply say,
kind of life we deserve.
‘I want to feel better.’”—that’s nonspecific. What does feeling
C fruition, just get the overall picture painted in your mind in as a calling to create a new life, we can work with it to create the
TRA better or having vibrant health look like to you? A good ideal Contentment, Not Crisis
scene of wellness might be seeing yourself running down the It’s estimated that 10-12% of men experience a midlife
beach flying kites with your children, as you feel the ocean mist crisis, although these numbers likely account for men with
on your face and energy coursing through your body. That heightened symptoms who are seeing a therapist. Considering
visual gives your subconscious and the universe something to how subtle and universal the symptoms can be, I’m inclined
work with! to believe the average is higher, and it isn’t traditionally just 1. The myth of the male mid-life crisis. CBS News Sunday Morning, (June 22, 2011) http:/ /www.cbsnews.com/news/the-myth-of-the-male-mid-life-crisis/.
a man’s problem either. A study from Cornell University
Hold your ideal scene in the context of “…this or something showed 34% of men and 36% of women reported a difficult
better for the highest good of all concerned.” While it’s im- midlife transition. How many of us have gotten up to go 2 . Sue, Shellenbarger. (April 7, 2005). The female midlife crisis: more women than men now report upheaval by age 50.
portant to create your ideal scene in as much detail as possible, to work one morning after being in the same career for 25
it’s equally important not to be stuck on every single detail so years and ask ourselves, “So, this is it? This is all there is to
much that your hard work and the universe can’t bring you life?” You don’t have to be seeing a therapist to be struggling
something even better. After all, would you really argue if your with personal fulfillment issues and the direction your life
ideal scene finally came to fruition but it happened to be on the has taken. The wall street journal, http:/ /www.wsj.com/articles/SB111283464791500330.
white sandy beaches of the Bahamas instead of Santa Barbara?
I didn’t think so. The key to navigating through a midlife crisis is to understand
what it really is: a search for more meaning and purpose in
For more health insights from Dr. Sadeghi or to read more your life. The discontent that exists beneath your midlife crisis
inspiring articles from his health and wellness journal, Mega- may have been triggered by anything from feeling deeply
ZEN™, please visit beingclarity.com. For daily messages of established in your career or your kids leaving the nest. It’s
encouragement and humor, follow him on Instagram at @ possible that the focus of your life may be shifting from taking
drhabibsadeghi. care of others to feeding your own soul and awakening creative